I am scared now too, but not nearly as much as before.Ī certain incident happened to me, which was a step toward my escape from the bad cycle that I had been trapped in for years. I was scared to write such things in these liner notes. I confess my feelings here to punish myself. I realize now that, being truthful to myself, and truthful to others, doesn't relate to being kind. I will face everything that had happened. That was my true feeling being scared to look face to face, I escaped by performing as a "kind and cooperating man." I was living a lie. but, if I expressed my true feelings, everyone would see me as being selfish. I was scared that I wasn't really agreeing with that. I mistook, "I'd rather quit, than pour out my real feelings and hurt someone," as kindness. I was being a "goody-goody" every time the question came up to me. To tell you the truth, I think I had always thought of such things when trying to create an album, but I never did. I really wanted to make this album work, to be able to create the image that I wanted.
Some will say to me, "Orchestras are so great." Some will write to me, and say, "I was touched by it." If I see the making of this soundtrack as a "job" involving many people, that might be nothing, but. If I do not write this here, everyone will listen to this CD without any doubts. My carelessness said, "Everything's gone well up till now it's going to be fine this time, too." But, every mistake began to show up. Yet, my easiness underestimated the schedule. It is because of my lack of trying to "defend" the image of each song, and my trying to escape by saying, "I did not arrange this." Because I did help arrange this. It is not the arranger's fault, nor the performers'. The image I had for each song had been crushed to pieces by this. I am not satisfied with this album at all. Though I sometimes think about what I had went through in one to two months, I found hesitation to judge my past lifestyles, conclusions and choices. I am just a simple-minded, easy-going man. We can say just about anything to others, but will we be able to be honest to ourselves when we are in trouble? Can we be as we feel? Weren't we closing our eyes to troubles we must face in the future? I am not a saint, or some kind of magician. I felt myself being cured by a song I wrote to cure another. As I heard the completed tape in my car, I cried again and again. (I don't care what the public says.) Writing this song was my "realization" at the time. The song became the best one I had ever written, by fusing Yuuki Ito's lyrics, which truly represented my image. I wrote a song called "Rising Expectations" on 2/7. Each one should make meaning of their own events. But even though we can't change what has transpired, we can interpret it in different ways. It is said that past events cannot be changed. Take a deep breath and face them eye-to-eye. There's no need to stay in a good place all the time, either. But isn't looking back at painful, joyful, and all other experiences, a step to the future?ĭon't run from bad memories. I find myself trying to forget painful thoughts, and trying to remember only joyful ones. During this period, I went through a lot. Babies back then must be writing love letters now. It was a short 15 years, just thinking about music. I still don't have a child, but 15 years have passed from that day. I thought I discovered a new concept, and my heart was overwhelmed with joy.
As I thought, "Oh, I was just a small kid like them 15 years ago, and I will be like that father 15 years into the future," I knew I must be at a turning point. The kids were 5, 6 years old, and their parents had to be 35, 36. Around me were several families enjoying that fine, spring day. I was lying down in the Yokohama Oukurasan Bairin Park alone on my 20th birthday, 15 years ago. Liner notes (translated from the original Japanese)
0 kommentar(er)
